He’s coming around slowly

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Dr Luis joined us this evening. They are closing tomorrow hopefully around 10 a.m.  (though they have another procedure before Marshall.) 

And our little man is coming around. He is opening his eyes. And wiggling his head. And attempting to move his neck. And moved his foot when I tickled his toes.

And he is responding to my voice.  Even when I was on the phone with his brothers and he was overhearing my pleas for Tristen to pass my his on to them.

I still can’t believe how much I miss them all.  It just worsens by the hour.  Except one of our boys seems to be coming back sooner than the other three…

This evening Dr Luis said Marshall’s progress has been exceptional but laughed at me when I said I’d have Marshall in my arms again by Monday.

What if Marshall is ready to move forward before his docs are?
“Shoot for the moon, if we fall short, we land on a star…”

He moved when I touched him!

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Marshall has been on a “paralytic holiday” for 12 hours.

This a.m. during our visit he moved when I touched him.  And I got to rub his forehead & touch his itty bitty swollen foot.

Then they gave him more paralytic which will only last one hour but is necessary to keep him and his heart where they want it.

Marshall is tolerating his (1 cc of milk hourly) feeds well and has shown signs of bowel movement. Small win which will hopefully bring some strength!

Dr C, another cardiologist, introduced himself and updated us regarding Marshall’s condition.

“He is just where we want him.”
“We will close tomorrow.”
“He is progressing as he should.”

And yes, his pee is still free 😉 .

I must seem like a broken record but if you could please send big thoughts to our little guy and his Grandma Martha (who is undergoing a medical procedure), we would really, truly appreciate it.

Holding on…and letting go…such a delicate balance.

Thank goodness for the small things.

Waiting for the phone to not ring

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Marshall is officially one week old.  I could only rub his head and tell him how much I love him to celebrate.

This is lousy.  There is nothing at all that I can do for him. And I’m his mama.

But it could be so much worse.

Marshall is “stable” still. His team would like to see him pee more (“Free the pee!”) at this point but every baby is different.

We ran into Dr. F in the hall on our return from dinner with Grandma Penny. He assured that everything is as it should be and they will likely close tomorrow or Saturday. 

And in the mean time we wait. And wring our hands and hold our breaths and hope. Beyond hope… that the phone doesn’t ring and that Marshall gets better by the hour.

It’s your fight now, sweet baby boy. Show us what you’ve got (and please make it soon if you can.)

“Free the pee”

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If the wild boys were here, they would chant and cheer with me “Free the pee!” (Inside joke: we watched a movie that inspired them to chant this for weeks)

Man I miss my boys. All four of them.

Anyway, Marshall’s nurse was on break when I called but still thankfully answered. He is “Stable. Very stable.”  We are all waiting, hoping, & perhaps even praying he pees. 

He has to lose the extra fluid and peeing is the only way.

So please, if you can, help us “Free the pee!.” 

Rewind to last night:
Nothing on earth could have prepared me for seeing him post-op. I completely broke down.

He is heavily sedated with paralytics.

He is on a ventilator.

There are no words to describe what we saw when we saw Marshall last night.

My own heart was so heavy all day yesterday that my chest just throbbed.

And I couldn’t hold back the tears.

His nurse was very reassuring about his condition and how well he was doing all things considered.  So far he has needed minimal intervention. His heart rate is good. His blood pressure is good. He was peeing on his own.

His chest is open. The nurses were kind enough to keep that under a blanket so I didn’t have to see.

Call me crazy but I can’t bear the thought of what lies beneath.

Tough stuff. But marshall’s strength is incredible. I am so thankful for him, his brothers, my husband (who I know I would not have made it this far without), our families, our friends, and all of the doctors and nurses who have helped us every step of the way.

Much love and hugs ♥

“He did really well.”

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He is ok.  He is on a ventilator and his chest is open.  But he is ok …

He did “really well.”

At the end of the details of Marshall’s procedure, I looked at Dr. Baird and with tears in my eyes: “Thank you so much….I could just hug you.”

“Yes you can!” was Dr. Baird’s response.

And so I did. And I hugged Dr. Luis too.

The next 72 hours are going to be rough.

Pray harder please.

Love and hugs…
…and a small sigh of relief.

Tomorrow

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It is set. Dr. F confirmed this afternoon.
Dr. B is going in to place the BT shunt and do a little preventative procedures in the pulmonary veins.

All I hear in my mind is Dr. F’s warning of how serious this is: “On a scale of 1-10, the complexity of Marshall’s surgery is a 9.5.”  He sees multiple surgeries in Marshall’s future – a minimum of three (which Dr. F  thinks will be more) and at least 2 more catheterizations.

Please send good thoughts and strength to our baby.