Marshall’s cardiologist appointment with Dr. S went well.  “I love you.  You look great.” (direct quote.)

That kind of medicine does the heart good.

But it Dr S’ other words that are still echoing in my head.  I would give nearly anything for Marshall to be well enough to postpone leaving his brothers and heading back to Boston.  The thought of passing our baby off to the team for any reason makes me cringe.  Especially since Marshall seems so “well.”

Since we returned home on July 28, Marshall has been so happy that it makes accepting we have to leave again even worse.  His brothers are his favorite people on earth.  Being with them makes him (and me) happiest. 

And being home makes him thrive.

Marshall gained over one pound and has grown half an inch since July 28.  With help from his very great physical therapist, Marshall has progressed in ways that he didn’t while inpatient.  He has learned how to say “Mama,” he can roll and scootch, he waves, and he can even sit unassisted for a couple of seconds (he ironically hit this milestone yesterday after my lamentations to the universe that he can’t.  THAT’S the spirit, little man…so glad I passed that “tell me I can’t and I will prove you wrong” trait on to you 🙂 )

Despite all of this, Marshall’s and my bags are packed except for the few necessities we need.  All because during yesterday’s appointment Dr. S stated “It is best we not wait.” 

And Dr. Friedman offered his insight after I updated him on the details of the appointment.  He said: “I agree. Hard to imagine a benefit to waiting.”

So I sit full of this concrete & lead mixture of dread at the thought of leaving my big boys behind as we face this next unknown.  In fact, on the way to school my oldest asked: “Can’t you just take us with you?”

All I kept thinking was “My GOD I wish…” but the sinking reality is Boston Children’s is very accommodating to all children but it is absolutely no place any of them should ever have to go.

Speaking of go, time to go give Marshall some meds.  And get the boys’ bags ready for if they can visit Boston…

And Dr. Friedman agrees.