Marshall is in the same bed space (#23) as he was after his first surgery.

If no one had told me he was him, I am not sure I would even recognize him as my own.

To say the baby we saw last night looks like Frankenbaby isn’t intended to be rude.  It is the absolute truth.

It. Is. Horrific.  And. Harder. Than. Hard. To. See.

He is intubated… doubly so. They team did so much with his lungs he is also on nitric oxide -a powerful lung preserver in this sea of surgery.

His chest is still open.

He’s an absolute mess.

Seeing him was far, far, far worse than I had expected.  I haven’t taken the time to adequately address those feelings.  But, hey, there is no time for any of us to break down now…

I keep mentally begging him to find his way back to us.  What a massive challenge… 

We have not yet seen Marshall this morning because there is a sterile procedure on the baby in the bedspace next to him. When I called in after our nap (less than 5 hours of sleep last night), his nurse said he is “stable” and last night was thankfully event-free.

The nurse believes the plan is to start the “Free the Pee” (diuresis) process this afternoon. 

But, since Marshall is Marshall, he started that one on his own. 

I think it is safe to say that so far and THANKFULLY those good thoughts and prayers are helping (again).  Please, please, please keep them coming.  My goodness he needs them.

Now he needs to get off the breathing tube.  The longer he is on it the bigger the risks.  And his lungs need to find the strength enough to heal…

And my goodness he needs to eat…though by the sounds they won’t even try that until tomorrow.

Breathe, Rebecca. ..

And I would give nearly anything to get his chest closed up sooner than soon.

In the back of my mind is the thought that when he wakes up, he is going to be so furious…

Hopefully.