Our visit with Marshall this a.m. reminded me of two things: Marshall is hanging on.  And too much time in hospital a hospital makes one lose their grip on time.

Marshall’s team was doing rounds and Dr. Luis stopped in when they were wrapping up.

May you never know the fear in that settles in when a group of docs and nurses congregate at your child’s bedside.

Needless, per his team, Marshall is “doing well” but they still couldn’t close.  His red blood cell count is down.  And they “really don’t know why.”

Really? Really?!?  I wanted to argue. And yell. But didn’t.  Perhaps the postpartum hormones combined with the instinctive raging urge to stand over his bassinet growling and snarling at anyone who tries to hurt him farther is on high alert.

And on a very, very tight leash.

I won’t even mention the dreams…they will be saved for another post.

Anyway, Marshall’s team is doing further testing to eliminate the most probable causes of the red blood cell thing. Marshall’s lactate level has decreased…for now.

So we wait. And hope for more positive thoughts and prayers. Which I may need you to extend to other babies in the CICU.  We have met the families of two so far – one is Baby B who is waiting for a new heart and Baby J who had surgery on Jan. 2. 

Life has a way of reminding us that it’s not about what we want but what we’ve still got.

AND though Marshall is really sedated, he keeps reminding us how strong he is.  Which is good since, as Dr. Luis promised: “We will definitely be closing tomorrow.”