Dr. S took the time to call me while he was “on vacation” (which, in his words, means he is “just trying to get some work done.”) After giving him a run down of Dr. F’s findings, he thanked me for the lengths I’ve gone to in researching Marshall’s condition.  He has a 22 month old in his care who is on his or her death bed and wishes the child’s parents had done the same.

I returned the thanks.  He knows more than I ever want to know.

Despite how hard this is, he has made it easier in some ways.  He’s surprised by Boston’s unwilling to go to “heroic efforts” for Marshall if the MAPC’s are there (“I thought for sure they’d try to pull them all together but if they won’t they have valid reasons why.”)

Valiant and mercurial,  Dr. S apologized for his “optimism” after our last appointment.  I assured him there was no need for such apologies and that it actually did us some good.  His infectious optimism during that moment offered us hope.

Which brings me to today’s small victory: Dr. S is willing to take another peek at Marshall to help determine the presence or absence of the MAPCs, pulmonary veins, and pulmonary arteries.  

Marshall’s little life depends on these findings and other factors far, far out of my hands.

The reality is harsh.  And it reduces me to tears every.single.time.

I know I’m in no position to ask for favors but if you have a prayer, good thought, hope, or any strength to spare, please send it to our little miracle.